For most of my career, I didn’t struggle with working hard.
I struggled with working without limits.
If something needed to be done, I did it.
If someone needed help, I stepped in.
If expectations were unclear, I filled in the gaps—often without being asked.
That approach worked for a long time.
Until it didn’t.
Why Boundaries Hit Differently After 50
After 50, energy becomes information.
I’m still capable. I’m still committed. I still care deeply about my work. But I no longer have endless reserves—and pretending I do only leads to resentment and burnout.
In a new, demanding role, that reality became impossible to ignore.
The pace was fast. The responsibility was real. And the unspoken expectation to always be available crept in quickly.
That’s when I realized:
If I didn’t set boundaries, they would be set for me—and not in ways that respected my time or wellbeing.
The Truth: I’m Not Naturally Good at Boundaries. Are any of us?
This part matters.
I don’t set boundaries easily. I want to be helpful. I want to do a good job. I want things to go smoothly. For years, I confused being valuable with being endlessly available.
Setting boundaries felt uncomfortable. Sometimes it still does.
But recently, I’ve had to set and hold them anyway—not because it felt empowering, but because it was necessary.
What Boundaries Look Like for Me Right Now
They aren’t dramatic or confrontational. They’re quiet and intentional.
Right now, boundaries look like:
- Clarifying expectations instead of absorbing extra work by default
- Saying, “That’s not something I can take on right now” without over-explaining
- Protecting focus time instead of being constantly reactive
- Letting discomfort exist without immediately fixing it
I’m learning that boundaries don’t make me less committed.
They make my commitment sustainable.
A Boundary Around Ownership and Collaboration
Another boundary I’m holding now is around ownership.
I’ve asked for inclusion, communication, and collaboration from teams. When those things are present, I’m engaged, supportive, and invested. When they’re not, I’ve learned to step back.
That means I’m no longer prioritizing projects where expectations aren’t shared, communication is one-sided, or collaboration is optional.
It also means I’m no longer repeating the same training or answering the same questions over and over when the information has already been provided. Support doesn’t mean carrying someone else’s responsibility.
At this stage of my career, my role is to guide, clarify, and set direction—not to rescue or over-function.
Pushing work back to the individual isn’t disengagement.
It’s accountability.
And it’s how real ownership is built.
Consistency Is What Makes Boundaries Stick
Here’s the part no one talks about enough:
Boundaries only work if you hold them consistently.
Not once. Not when you’re brave. Not when you’re calm.
Consistency is what teaches people how to treat you.
Every time I follow through—by logging off when I said I would, by redirecting work instead of absorbing it, by naming capacity instead of pushing through—I reinforce the boundary.
And every time I don’t, I erase it.
What I Want Other Women Over 50 to Know:
- You don’t need to justify your limits.
- You don’t need to earn rest.
- You don’t need to wait until you’re exhausted to speak up.
- Boundaries aren’t about doing less.
- They’re about doing what matters—well and without resentment.
I’m still learning. I still hesitate sometimes. But I’m staying with the practice.
Because at this stage of life, consistency matters more than approval.
Consistency at Work: A Micro-Manifesto for You to Take into the New Year
I don’t need to be everything to everyone.
I need to be clear, present, and steady.
I choose consistency over urgency.
Consistency over over-functioning.
Consistency over burnout disguised as dedication.
I show up prepared—but not depleted.
I contribute—but I don’t absorb what isn’t mine.
I care deeply—without abandoning myself.
I set boundaries even when it feels uncomfortable.
I hold them even when it would be easier not to.
I trust that clarity is kinder than resentment.
I don’t prove my value by exhaustion.
I prove it by reliability, integrity, and follow-through.
This is how I work now.
Not louder.
Not harder.
Just more consistently.
.
Add comment
Comments