When I started this blog, I had a vague idea of what I wanted it to look like. Not aesthetically, but more of the feel and idea behind it. I just couldn't quite put it into words.
Then I came across Brooke Shield's new book, "Brook Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old: Thoughts on Aging as a Woman." As I listened to her read the introduction on Audible, I yelled at my desk, "THIS! This is it! She explains it perfectly!"
She says, "Women in their 40s and 50s are treated like we're invisible, even though we are one of the fastest growing demographics in the country." It's a social phenomenon that actually has a name- The Invisible Woman Syndrome.
In the patriarchal society that still prevails, once we can no longer be considered eye-candy or maybe even just an after-dinner mint; once we can no longer perform our role as sole life-giver and mother- not for lack of want, but because our bodies no longer allow us- we are no longer "needed". We are dismissed, unheard, and not seen.
Brooke goes on in her book to explain that women our age have the highest purchasing power, we make 85% of the household purchasing decisions, and this demographic controls a net-worth of $19 trillion dollars! And yet, we aren't the one brands are marketing to unless it's to sell us something that will make us fit into society's norms of beauty and youth. My Facebook feed floods with "old lady" bras, wrinkle creams, joint relief supplements, and surgery solutions to bring back yesteryear. I find this utterly insulting.
I recently struggled with some big decisions in my life. At 54 years of age, I was contemplating not only changing jobs (both what I do and where I do it), but also wanting to go back to school and complete my Master's degree. I had outgrown my position years ago. I was bored. No longer challenged. Not growing. But, starting over at 54?! I'm too old for that, I thought. So close to retirement, yet not close enough.
Everything I wanted to change my career to, I needed to further my education. Of course. But wasn't I too old to start my Master's? I began my college career late in life- at 39- while I was raising my kids, working 3 jobs, and volunteering. I thought I was too old back then to begin school. But 54 was really pushing it, right? That really is too old.
If I was a man, society would be cheering me on. Rise in rank! Make that bank! Grow yourself! Carve out a title! Be strong and prosper! Where is society's Hurrah for us? There isn't one. There is only disregard, snickering, eye-rolling.
Brooke goes on in her book to say, "I don't have to prove myself anymore. This is it. This is me! And if there is something I want to change, then I can make the decision to do so. These "later" years are all about coming into your own and pivoting in the directions you've always wanted to go. My time is my own."
That was exactly my conclusion to my dilemma. This is MY time. 54 years old is too young to live the remainder of my life and career being unhappy, unmotivated, bored, and stagnant. I should be living in my "I-don't-care-what-you-think" era. For the most part I am, but I remain stuck in certain areas, honestly. I decided to go for it and will be starting a new position (at the same company) and beginning my Master's in June. I am beyond excited to learn and grow again. To bring my ideas and self to the table. To feel whole again.
Which brought me to starting this blog. We are a tribe of women who should be celebrated. We have raised children. Lived through hardships. Survived traumas. Built roads where none existed out of necessity. Forged paths even when we were told no. Grieved losses so great it should've destroyed us. Overcame our self-doubts and self-sabotaging.
We are alive. We are beautiful. We are strong. We are worthy.
We. Are. Enough.
It's time we stop hiding our struggles and believing we're the 'only' one. It's time to stop suffering in silence. It's time to grab our sister's hands and lift her up!
We're not alone in the loneliness, the body changes, the shifting identities. We don’t need to suffer in silence. We need each other.
Let’s break the myth that aging means fading. Let’s rewrite the narrative — together. Let's reach for one another, share our stories, and lift each other up.
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